They likely did not tell you the first time they noticed their same-sex attraction. This orientation is not news to your child. Ask God to replace your vision for your child with His.Ģ. Quite simply, they may not be God’s expectations. But those are your expectations for your child. Your expectations may lay shattered at your feet. He also reminded me of the many straight people who had traumatic childhoods, yet remained straight. To my surprise, God completely shifted my understanding and revealed to me the many people who had a great childhood are still gay. As a younger Christian, taught that homosexuality is a sin, I believed that trauma somewhere in someone’s past caused homosexuality, even if they didn’t remember it. You did not cause this it’s not a failure on your part. In fact, it really has nothing do with you. They did not “choose gayness” to rebel against you, get back at you or make your life miserable. This is not something your child did to you. So let’s talk about some of the major stumbling blocks for Christian parents. Most parents’ first mistake is to make it about them instead of about their son or daughter. But at the bottom of it all, this is not about you.
In many Christian circles, this is not good news, and you may begin to spiral into reflection and self-searching. My hope is to guide you as we walk for a bit through this maze of confusion, to help you find your way to wholeness. I invite you to sit down, relax, maybe get a cup of tea, and soak in what I’m about to tell you. If you are a Christian parent, family member or friend to whom your loved one has come out as gay or lesbian, then this is for you. How could this be? What will the church say? What will your friends say? What does the future hold? You can’t even get your head around this. This is the child you have cradled, spoon fed mashed bananas, and dreamed a beautiful future for. But for many Christian parents, nothing can prepare them to hear that their beloved child is gay. When you become a parent, you know to expect the unexpected. It was not what you had in mind, and you instantly wonder where you went wrong.” This goes against everything you’ve been taught.
“You want to shove those words back in and put the lid on.